Why yes! My amazing mom (aka mẹ [Vietnamese for mom] aka omma [Korean for mom]) turns 47 on this lovely day. Happy birthday Mommy!
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| My mommy and I are posing for the camera for her birthday today! |
Words alone cannot express how I feel towards my mom. I will try my best to show everyone how much she means to me. Let us start from the beginning.
On May 15, 1964, my maternal grandparents welcomed a healthy baby girl named Phượng. She is the 5th of 7 children. Six days after giving birth to her 7th child, my grandma (my mom's mom) died at the hospital from hemorrhaging at the age of 33. My mom was only 4 years old.
My grandpa took care of his 7 children (one being a newborn) by himself with a little help from his youngest sister. The family often moved around because my grandpa was a soldier. Because of the communism in Vietnam and the economy, my mom had to leave school to help out the family. She was only able to attend to school up to the 4th grade.
My mom was constantly getting sick when she was a child. She had a weak stomach, so there were times when she would roll around the house, holding her tummy and crying in pain. My grandpa would stay up all night, rubbing my mom's tummy until she fell asleep.
Despite her small physique, my mom would often follow her older brothers to go farming or fishing. Sometimes while farming, it would start to rain. Everyone would go take cover except for my grandpa. My mom, who loves her dad very much, would stay behind to farm alongside her dad even though she fell sick easily. They would farm and chat in the rain, causing their bond to be even closer.
When my mom was around 18 years old, one of her friends asked her to go see people flee Vietnam on refugee boats. It was the first time she ever went to witness one of these events. Because there were so many people present at the time, in confusion, a man picked my mom and her friend up and placed them in one of the boats. My mom had no intention of leaving at all. She wanted to get off the boat immediately.
The boat went to another shore. The owner of the boat told everyone that the sun was rising and that the Communist will capture them if they do not jump ship now. The real reason he said that was because there were too many people on the boat. Many people jumped and swam to shore. In the darkness, my mom's friend had jumped off too. My mom, on the other hand, could not jump off because she did not know how to swim. She stood on the boat and wept for her dad and family.
My grandpa was devastated to know that his precious daughter was taken away. Every time there was news of a young girl's dead body found, my grandpa and the family rushed to go see if it was my mom. They had no way of getting in touch with my mom at that period of time. It was a heartbreaking time for my mom and her family.
My mom finally made it to a refugee camp in Galang Island of Indonesia. She met and made many friends there. That was where she met and fell in love with my dad. My mom was finally able to write to my grandpa and let him know that she is alive and well. After 2 long years, she was allowed to leave to another country.
At first, my mom was going to go live with my grandpa's youngest sister, who had moved to Australia. My mom's aunt wrote to my grandpa to give my mom his soldier ID so that my mom could come to the U.S. The moment the U.S. received my grandpa's ID, my mom was accepted to come to the U.S.
My dad had already left for the U.S. prior to my mom's acceptance. One of my mom's friends from refugee camp became my mom's sponsor. My mom flew to Singapore and stayed for 4 days. She then stayed in Hong Kong for a night and morning before leaving for the U.S. My mom finally came to the U.S. in 1984 and reunited with my dad here in Houston, TX. My uncle (my mom's brother) came over soon after and lived with my mom. My parents got married on May 10, 1985.
Before getting pregnant, my mom worked as a waitress at a small Vietnamese restaurant. She often had to walk home to a small apartment that her and my dad lived in. My mom soon became pregnant with her 1st child (me). At the age of 22, my mom gave birth to me on November 13, 1986.
After 5 months of staying home with me, my mom found a babysitter to take care of me. My mom went back to work at the restaurant for a short while. My dad encouraged my mom to take some English-speaking classes. She left her job and started learning English. At the school, there were knitting classes. My mom took some classes and was offered a job at a small sewing shop.
Three years later my mom became pregnant with her 2nd child (my sister). My mom left the sewing shop. We moved to a 1-story house in the suburbs of NW Houston. On March 18, 1990, my mom gave birth to a healthy baby girl named Melissa. My mom became a full-time mother and housewife. She would walk me to and from school, cook for the family, and clean the house.
My mom gave birth for the last time to a baby boy named Steve on February 21, 1992. She had a tubectomy (having her fallopian tubes tied) because the doctor said that my mom was too weak to have another baby and another cesarean delivery (each child = 1 cesarean delivery). My mom took care of all 3 children while my dad brought home the paychecks.
My uncle (my mom's brother) at that time was still living with us. He came home from work earlier than my dad, so he would watch my siblings and I while my mom cooked dinner. A few years later, he moved to California.
In December 1994, our family of 5 flew to Vietnam to visit relatives for a month. After not seeing her dad and family for 12 years, my mom was extremely happy to see everyone. We would travel back and forth between my dad's house and my mom's.
Because we were so used to my mom's cooking, my siblings and I would refuse to eat anything that was cooked at my dad's house. My dad would get upset and scold us for not eating. We would start to cry. My mom would cry with us while trying to feed us. She ended up having to go to the kitchen and cook for us. Luckily, at my mom's house, my mom's sisters cook similarly to my mom's cooking.
Over there, they only have cold water for bathing. My mom would have to boil hot water to mix with the cold water for us to bathe. My brother was still in diapers at that time. He was only 2 years old. My mom was worried that the diapers would give him rashes from the heat, so she had him wear shorts. Because he was not potty trained, he was peeing everywhere. My mom was constantly following him around and cleaning up after him.
At the age of 32, my mom had an UTI. She went to see the family doctor, and he prescribed her the antibiotic Bactrim DS. She fell ill. My mom would feel cold, but her body was burning up. Our neighbors, who were also our family friends, came over to check on my mom. They saw that she was having a fever and took her to the ER. The doctors had no idea why my mom's white cell count was so low. The family doctor came in to check on my mom. He asked her if she took any medication recently. My mom told him that she only took the antibiotic he had prescribed her for her UTI. He asked for the medication's named. It turned out that my mom had an allergic reaction to the medication. She cannot take sulfa drugs. My mom stayed 2 nights and 2 days at the hospital.
When I was in 5th or 6th grade grade, my mom's friend needed my mom to drive her to go apply for a job as a cafeteria lady. My mom's friend convinced my mom to apply also. Since all three children were in school, my mom decided to apply. She did not think she would get the job. She ended up getting the job and not her friend. My mom thought that if she asked to be placed at my siblings' elementary school they would not hire her. Instead, they not only placed her at my siblings' school, but they hired her for full-time.
My mom's manager was really nice to her. She told my mom to do whatever job that is easy for her because of her small stature. The other ladies were jealous of my mom because she got hired for full-time and was placed at the school of her choice. They bullied her around and made her do all the heavy lifting jobs. It was very hard on her, but she did not complain once. After a month of working, my mom quit her job.
My mom's friend then convinced my mom to open a dry cleaning shop with her. They would work half day shifts and would switch shifts every week. Whoever worked the afternoon shift would pick up the other person's kids and dropped them off at the shop. During the summer, my dad would drop off my siblings and I at my mom's shop because he went to work later. We would watch TV and play games all day. A pipe under the sink burst one night and flooded the shop. We had to suck out all the water from the carpet. The place had a musty smell in the carpet for days. My mom and her friend soon sold the shop after 6 months of being in business.
The same friend told my mom to work with her at an assembly line job. My mom did not work here for very long because a pain in her right wrist was getting worse. She would cry at night because the pain was unbearable. My dad had to massage her wrist to soothe it. The company sent her to go get it examined. It turned out to be Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. My mom had to have a carpal tunnel release surgery. The symptoms started before she worked at this job, so they let her go.
My dad never wanted my mom to work. His income took good care of us. My mom likes to socialize and to get out of the house. That was the last time she worked. She went to cosmetology school and received a license but never used it. She got one in case something ever happens to my dad. My mom went back to being a full-time mother and housewife.
In spring 2000, my mom won a car. Somebody called my mom and told her she won a brand new car. Initially, she did not believe the person because she did not enter into any contest or drawing. The person said that my mom was automatically entered into a drawing when she used her Randall's card for grocery shopping. When my mom came to the store to claim the red Saturn sedan, her picture was taken and printed in the newspaper. Since I was only 13 at the time, my parents decided to sell the car back to the dealership and use that money to go on a family vacation.
During the summer of 2000, my family of 5 left for Vietnam again. We changed planes in Los Angeles. My uncle (my mom's brother) met us there to go to Vietnam. We had more fun this time around because all of us were older. My mom was able to relax more. She got to see her side of the family more. When we left, many of us cried, especially my mom and grandpa. My mom was so scared that something would happen to him and that that would be the last time she sees him.
My mom was constantly busy. She was busy driving around town for her children. She took us to and from school, to piano lessons, and to Cathecism classes. My mom started volunteering at the church and going to my brother's Scouts activities like camping. Everywhere my mom goes and every person my mom interacts with always fall in love with her.
During my teenage years, I gave my mom many heartaches. I became a rebellion. My mom and I can be really stubborn at times, so we would butt heads often. I did not pick the right guys for me, and my mom always knew that. She tried to reason with me, but I just pushed her away. Sometimes I could not wait to get out of the house and be away from my mom. She knew me better than I knew myself. I hated when my mom was right. My pride and stubbornness kept me from apologizing to her at times. Even though we did not always get along, we still loved each other very much.
When I started working at Target pharmacy, I was barely home. I worked and went to school full time, so whenever I came home, I usually would say hi to my mom, talk to her a little, and then head straight to my room to relax. Even though I mistreated her, my mom still did my laundry, cleaned my room, cooked for me, and shopped for clothes for me. I often took my mom for granted. I regret and feel ashamed over many things I have done to my mom in the past. The worst feeling ever is knowing that I have disappointed my mom many times in many ways.
I thank God every single day for my mom. I truly believe she is my angel sent from God. If I could be half the woman my mom is, I would be so lucky. Unfortunately, it took me 22.5 years and an accident for me to see and realize that my mom is the strongest, most caring, most loved woman I know.
Those who have crossed paths with her always fall in love with her. Age and gender does not matter. She can socialize with anyone. Elders love my mom because she is kind, patient, and trustworthy. My mom never complains. She is a great listener. Men and children love my mom's cooking. She did not know how to cook much when she came here, but after much practice, she is a fantastic cook now! Women love her because she is caring, genuine, and dependable. My mom always keeps her word. She gives her all in everything she does. When she starts something, she always finishes it.
Since my accident, everything has changed. My mom sleeps on a mattress next to my bed. She does everything for me! She bathes me, dresses me, catheterizes me, prepares my meals, cleans my poop... the list goes on and on. Our bond has become so much closer since we are around each other 24/7. My mom is always protecting me, now more than ever.
She has lived a difficult life and overcame so many obstacles. Many people are impressed by my mom's strength and her personality. I wish I could repay her for all that she has done for me and given me. I still have so many things to learn from her. I used to take my mom lecturing me as nagging, but now I am trying to embrace her lectures because I know that she is only trying to guide me down the right path.
Not too long ago, we thought that my mom might have thyroid cancer. I was so scared. My mom is the glue that keeps this family together. Without her, this family would not be here. She breathes life into all of us. I love her so much. I do not know what I would do if something happens to my mom. I cried at night and pray to God that my mom is ok. She met a specialist, and she is fine. Her sister had breast cancer, so my mom has to go get checked every year. I continue to pray for her health everyday.
Thank you Mommy for everything you have done for me, this family, and others. I feel so blessed to be your daughter. I pray that God will continue to watch over you. You mean so much to everyone. Your heart is constantly touching those around you. You are so pure and beautiful inside and out. This world needs more people like you. I know that I do not always say or do the right thing. For that, I am truly sorry. Please stay happy and healthy always. You are the best mom I could ever wish for. I LOVE YOU OMMA!
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